GERMANY: LAND OF THE LONELY

It is statistically proven: Germans are a bunch of unsocial loners. This may not sound nice but according to a 2012 census some 16 million Germans live on their own. No family, no partner, no flat sharing with others. This equals one out of five Germans living on their own (still including children, who are very unlikely to live alone). This is not just a few lonely widows or urban singles. The census also shows that people with international backgrounds are much less likely to live on their own. This trend has a massive impact on society. 

In certain cities (including the capital) about a third of inhabitants prefer to live on their own. Well, economically speaking this seems good news. They all have their fridges, tellies, hair-dryers. Some might say that Germans are fortunate in being able to afford living on their own. For many people the idea of having this space for themselves is nothing but an unaffordable dream. 

Having said that, I am afraid this is not very good for the planet. More houses mean more heating, more stuff means more waste – you get the picture. Germans pride themselves in being a green nation, there seems to be a limit to this.

So, what does this mean for society? Many have no partner or only one they choose not to live with. There are no kids when you live on your own. These people are not used to share stuff. They may be obliged to share in public places and at work but at home? Full control over the TV seems a child’s dream come true. At home it’s all theirs. This applies not only to materialistic goods. Their memories, experiences, emotions and their little worries are all for themselves.

You might argue that they still have friends and family, people they talk to. Sure, but family is different. A partner is always there and so is family. You cannot choose to meet them or simply not answer the phone. They are there for you and you are there for them. You stick together in difficult situations. Is being alone so much fun?

Is there a cultural root to it? I learnt that Germany is right on top of the global loner list. Only in Sweden the quota is higher. Is this a Germanic thing? Is this a side-effect of affluent societies? I would argue that these people are not all happy (which also counts for people living with others). Dating agencies seem to prosper and advertise heavily in all German media.

It surely shows that elderly Germans treasure their independence and are able to live on their own. I cannot judge if they may prefer to live differently but the figures are clear. It also shows that women (there is no real statistical gender difference on this matter) are fully independent. This should be welcomed. They seem to do fine and it is up to them to decide in what kind of relationship they want to engage. 

Maybe I am an old-fashioned romantic but the idea of having a society full of super-independent individuals doesn’t really appeal to me. I’d even raise the question if it is worth living in it. My concept of society is not a bunch of singles living “their way” having only to consult their wallets before doing things. Am I overreacting in saying that there is a point where independence ends and the inability of connecting with others starts? I believe that your mindset is shaped by your environment. In this light I think the rising number of people living alone is not an achievement but rather a sign of incapacity.